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The Importance of Collaborative Parenting

By 30 September 2013Parenting matters, Separation

Collaborative Parenting – Easy ways to avoid the conflict

When two people separate there has most likely been a degree of conflict, and difficulty communicating. When there are children involved, it is important that both parents have an awareness that the conflict between the two of them is unlikely to have positive consequences for the children. The following suggestions may assist in prioritising your child or children during difficult periods.

Compromise – the old “give and take” principle

It is the old adage of “a bit of give leads to a bit of take” but parents should be aware that making the other parent’s life difficult with respect to children’s arrangements is unlikely to impact positively on the children. Let’s not beat around the bush, and contemplate that facilitating parenting arrangements is easy. It is not. Often parenting Orders are laced with complex paragraphs with respect to time spent between each parent and often, without some level of give and take, any parenting arrangement in place will not operate smoothly. Parents need to have awareness that whilst parenting arrangements may be inconvenient for them, it is most likely the children who are truly inconvenienced by any situation where the there is no “give” and both parents are “taking”.

Make arrangements and note them on the calendar!

Arrangements for the care of children and the time the children would spend with each parent (whether informal or formal) should be made with a view that each party will do all they can to abide by such arrangements. To assist in this regard a good method is to mark specific details of the arrangements for the children in advance on a calendar and then seek comment or agreement from the other parent and by exchanging a copy of the calendar with that parent when such agreement is reached. Such a calendar ensures that each parent is on the “same page” when it comes to when the changeover of the children will occur and where it will occur. The calendar further gives parties the ability to sort out any misinterpretations, misunderstandings or inconsistent inferences between the parents with respect to the parenting arrangements, before a situation arises where both parents think they are abiding by the arrangements only to find out that they are abiding by different arrangements.

Make use of the Toowoomba Children’s Contact Centre

If there is a possibility of conflict occurring between the parents at a changeover then Best Wilson Buckley Family Law would recommend that parents make use of the Toowoomba Children’s Contact Centre.

The Centre is a safe environment for parents to effect changeover of the children without necessarily having to come into contact with each other. The experienced staff at the contact centre will do all things in their power to ensure that changeover of the children is effected in a proper manner and it gives each parent and the child peace of mind that changeover will be facilitated without the added stress that potential conflict brings with it.


There is no consensus on the best way to make parenting arrangements run smoothly. What there is for the most part though is consensus that conflict between parents is unlikely to have positive consequences for the children. Approaching such matters with a mindset of compromise and acceptance rather than the “my way or the highway” approach and implementing arrangements which will lead to the lowest chance of conflict occurring between the parents is essential.