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“Warring couples bent on revenge are resorting to increasingly “ludicrous” stunts”, or so writes Ainsley Pavey in her recent article for News Limited.

There is often much amusement drawn by the media in general from the acts of bitterness and revenge that sometimes emerge from our clients. Countless movies have been made, and dinner party conversations stimulated by discussion of acts of vengeance. But what of the real cost and repercussions? Obviously, separations can hurt, the emotions are complex and sometimes the outlet of that emotion is limited and people do rash things. That said, there is generally always room for insight and a need to appreciate that the Court will take serious issue with acts of violence, vengeance and deliberate damage. Quite independently of the hurt, the damage to children and the financial loss, the credibility of the perpetrator will be irreparably compromised and the Court will generally take the attitude that any loss in value or waste brought about by the act will be considered property already received by the perpetrating party. So who really loses? Without doubt the party acting out of anger and without consideration, and the most vulnerable witnesses to these events, the kids. Often hurt, frustration and anger is dissipated by knowing where you stand legally, and having a therapeutic outlet. Assistance in both respects is readily available at a low cost in many instances, just speak up.

Judge Rules for Stepdad Over Grandmother in Child Custody Battle

The story of these three children is one of enormous tragedy, the first tragedy is the loss of their Mother in a car accident, the second and possibly the most avoidable tragedy is the inability of the remaining adults in their life to find a common ground. Judge Baumann made the following powerful observation in his final judgment:

These three children have suffered what, in many ways, is likely to be the hardest loss they will ever experience – the death of a loving and caring Mother. Surely all the adults in this complex family situation can begin to take steps to heal these rifts and all genuinely support these three children, as they deserve to be supported. If the adults cannot do so after this decision is made, the Court holds significant concerns for the emotional wellbeing and development of these special children.

Without doubt, the conflict between adults in the above case, and most cases, starts very early and is drawn from more than one event or emotion. In some cases, many of the grown-ups can rest in the knowledge that they have done everything to resolve the grown up issues, but that’s not always the case. Where the emotional stability and development of a child is in issue, the Court is increasingly asking adults to explain why they haven’t tried harder.

In order to ensure that you place yourself in the best position, consider completing a program devoted to better communication between you both, or alternatively one on one counselling with your former partner. It is rare to find a parent or carer that doesn’t love their child and want what’s best for them. That said, in many instances there is a difference of opinion as to what is best for a particular child. Whilst working on developing a common ground, consider collectively supporting a therapeutic program directed to supporting your child after separation.