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Why Separation and Divorce Need Not Ruin Your Christmas and New Year

Why separation and divorce need not ruin your Christmas and New Year

Some years it is hard to get into the swing of things at Christmas time, impacted only further if you have recently separated or divorced.

The options are to embrace your inner Bridget Jones and spend some quality time with your couch, Netflix and a big tub of chocolate chip ice cream. Not a bad idea really. Or you could take the opportunity to have a Christmas clean of sorts to help move forward with your new life.

  1. If you have kids, it is all about them. They will no doubt pick up on how you are feeling and feel some level of responsibility for trying to make you feel “better” at this time. The best thing you can do is to focus on them and the good fortune they give you. Enjoy every minute you have with your children during Christmas and the holiday season, even if it is less than in previous years.
  2. Friends and family. Take a moment to think about all of the people in your life that are so special to you. Reach out to them and thank them for being who they are and for everything they give to you as the wonderful humans that they are.
  3. Do something fabulous for YOU. Maybe it’s picking up that pair of shoes you’ve been dying to buy at Boxing Day sales, it could be a few days away at the beach, a movie, spending the day in bed reading your favourite novel. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to spoil yourself and take some time to be grateful for who you are and what you have in life.
  4. Do something fabulous for a stranger. The spirit of giving is strongest at this time of year and it can fill our cup with so much joy. It doesn’t have to be something big and flashy – maybe you could donate a few things to charity, buy a fundraising calendar, or feed your neighbour’s dog while they are away. Anything that makes you feel good and gives a little something to someone less fortunate.
  5. Reflect and then look forward. We’re not talking about beating yourself up for whatever has happened this year and berating yourself for whatever your role in that was. Nope. We are saying that it is positive to think back on the year that was – what worked well, what didn’t work well, how could you do things differently to make next year even better? Think of 3 things you want to do for yourself in the New Year and work out how to achieve them. Think of 3 things you want to do for your children, family and friends in the New Year and plan them out, even locking in time with your loved ones to make sure it happens.
  6. Do nothing. Take some time to do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it. We all feel way too guilty about doing nothing and only more so when we think about our roles as wife/husband, mother/father, sister/brother, friend, neighbour, colleague, you name it and where we haven’t lived up to some outrageous standard. It has probably been a really big year for you and your loved ones. Kick back, let your mind wander and be kind to yourself.

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