During a separation or relationship breakdown, this desire is understandably heightened.
The law in these types of matters is based on the “best interests of the children”, particularly their right to a meaningful relationship with each parent as long as it does not put them at risk of harm.
So, what does “the best interests of the children” mean?
Under family law legislation, the best interests of the children refers to their rights.
- A meaningful relationship with both parents
- Protection from harm
- Adequate and proper parenting that helps them to achieve their full potential
- Having parents fulfil their duties and meet their responsibilities for their care, welfare, and development
You may wonder what a lawyer or a court could possibly know about the best interests of your children. You are absolutely right, you know your children better than anyone else in the world, except for maybe their other parent.
The fact of the matter is that during a separation, emotions such as fear, anger, confusion, and even guilt can cloud your judgement and make it overwhelmingly difficult to make clear and rational decisions around the future wellbeing of your children.
What an expert family lawyer can offer is a way through the forest of separation, to a place where you and the other parent can honour the history of your relationship through your children, ensuring that their childhood isn’t adversely impacted by a conflict that no one ever hoped to have.
What do I need to consider for our parenting arrangements?
As you know, there is a never ending list of things you think and worry about when it comes to raising your children. These become even more important following separation and/or re-partnering. This long list of considerations should all form part of any formal or informal parenting arrangement.
What will be the children’s primary residence?
How can we create shared or equal care arrangements that support a meaningful relationship with both parents, extended family and friends?
How can we ensure all care arrangements are free from harm?
How will these arrangements change as the children grow?
Where and when will drop-offs and pick-ups happen?
Where will the children spend birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, Easter and other special occasions?
Where do you and the other parent want the children to go to school, and who will pay the fees?
Are there religious or cultural considerations?
Who are the children’s health care providers, and how will both parents make decisions?
How will domestic and international travel work?
Yep, it’s a long list. It needs to be, so you and the other parent can properly plan for your children’s future after separation.
If you’re not sure where to begin, or you disagree on any of the above, speak with a specialist family lawyer. They can help you plan a way forward that aims to keep your children out of conflict between their parents.
Options for Formalising Parenting Arrangements
Whatever your situation, there are several ways to finalise your parenting arrangements and create stability for your children.
Parenting Plans
A parenting plan can formalise your agreed everyday and special arrangements.
Parenting plans are a great low-cost option, especially in the short term, when you and the other parent agree on the arrangements.
Both parents can draw up and agree to a parenting plan informally. To count as a parenting plan, it must be:
- in writing
- signed by both parents (preferably on each page); and
- dated.
Make sure both parents keep a signed copy to refer back to.
However, we have seen parents enter a parenting plan without proper legal advice, which caused problems later.
A specialist family lawyer can help in many ways, from reviewing your agreed draft to writing the document and finalising it with the other parent or their lawyer. How you work with us is up to you and can suit your budget. Contact us to find out how we can help with your parenting plan.
Consent Orders
The court will consider a parenting plan, but Consent Orders are a more formal option.
They work in much the same way. The parents (and their family lawyers, if needed) agree on or negotiate the arrangements first.
The court then makes the orders, which become legally binding and enforceable. This means the terms can be enforced if there is a serious breach later that can’t be resolved.
Many family lawyers prefer Consent Orders because they give the arrangement a legal foundation and the option to take further action if needed. A parenting plan that hasn’t been made into court orders generally can’t be enforced.
As with any legal document, get specialist advice about your own circumstances. Every family is different, and so is the advice that applies to each one.
To find out if Consent Orders are right for you, contact our team.
Options When You Cannot Agree
If there is a real risk of harm to your children, or you and the other parent can’t reach an agreement, you can apply to the court for a parenting order. Sometimes this is the only option, but it can be a lengthy, emotional and expensive process with long-lasting effects. It needs expert advice and may involve other professionals, such as therapists and family report writers.
A good family lawyer will usually try other options first to reduce emotional and financial strain. If you and the other parent disagree, a family lawyer can negotiate with them (or their lawyer) for you. In our experience, having someone else negotiate for you can make a real difference. You’ll have support, and help keeping your focus on what’s best for your child.
Relocation
Life changes. After separation or divorce, you or your former partner might want a fresh start somewhere new, or a job that means moving cities, states or even countries.
This can have a big impact on your children and their relationship with both parents. Your family has already been through a lot, and a move can add to already strong emotions.
Adults are generally free to choose where they live. It’s different when that choice affects a child’s ability to have a meaningful relationship with both parents. A relocation dispute happens when separated parents disagree about moving a child.
The good news is that whether you’re the parent moving or the parent staying, relocation doesn’t have to mean conflict or court. We recommend exploring all options through open discussion or mediation before considering court.
If you or the other parent is thinking about relocating, consider:
- What is the likely impact on your child?
- Is the move in your child’s best interests, and are they old enough for their views to be taken into account?
- What is your child’s current relationship with each parent?
- Could your child live with the parent who isn’t moving?
- Why is the move happening, and would it make more sense to stay?
- Would staying cause emotional or financial strain for either parent?
- How long will the move be for, and when will it happen?
- How will travel work so your child spends meaningful time with both parents?
- Is affordable, suitable housing and work available in the new location?
- What family and emotional support does each parent have? For example, family or friends the children are comfortable with if you can’t care for them.
- If a new school is needed, do both parents agree, and is it suitable, affordable and available?
- What else needs to be considered for your situation?
This list can feel overwhelming. Add the strong emotions that come with separation, and possible disagreement from the other parent, and conflict can build quickly.
Whether you or the other parent is considering a move, get specialist family law advice early so your interests and your children’s stay front and centre.
How does the family court decide on relocation after separation?
If you are unable to reach an agreement on a proposed relocation, it is likely that the matter will require intervention at court. The primary consideration of the court will ultimately be what is in the best interests of the child (more on that above).
Despite the specific proposals of the parties, the court is at liberty to consider any arrangement for the child assuming that, based on the evidence available, the outcome is in the best interest of a child and is reasonably practical.
Due to the emotionally charged complexity of relocation matters, they can be problematic and the outcome can be devastating for everyone if things don’t work out. Save yourself the emotional turmoil and uncertainty and seek expert relocation advice early on. Contact our team of relocation lawyers today to find out where you stand and what your options are.
